Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Essay #1


Oldest brother: Kevin

Do you feel as though you take things for granted? I know I do because one day I was minding my own business, not a worry in the world. My mom was a single parent of four: my two older brothers, my little sister and myself. I was about 12 or 13 and my mom wanted me to start washing the dishes and cleaning up the house before she got home. I didn’t like to clean, but she always nagged me about being the oldest girl, and that I had to start doing the chores. We argued about that at least twice a week, she would always complain about the dishes, the trash, and just everything that was messy.
One day, I decided to go grocery shopping because we had no juice or snacks. It was about 5:00 or 6:00 in the evening, and because I couldn’t drive, I had to walk, but it wasn’t far so I didn’t mind walking. The store was only two to three blocks away. Before I left for the store, I walked across the street and asked if my friend if she would walk with me to the store because it was beginning to get dark outside.
 While we’re there standing in line, I felt my phone buzzing inside my pocket. I pulled it out and I saw that I had missed a call from my mom. I called her back wondering maybe she just needed me to pick her up something. She picked up asking immediately “Where are you?” “I’m waiting in line to pay for my stuff, why?” She told me to get home as soon as possible because she had something to tell me. Everything she told me was in such calm yet had no-feeling kind of voice, so I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know if I was in trouble, or if something very big happened.
 
Other brother: Thomas
I then felt rushed to get home just thinking what was so important. So now I’m became a bit jittery just waiting for the cashier to ring me up so I could pay. Once I’ve paid, my friend and I grabbed the bags and rushed home. Basically running through the green lights, we get to our neighborhood about 3 minutes later. Once we turn onto our block, I got even more jittery with wonder, so we walked even faster. We finally got to her house and she handed me all of the bags so I can get home. I opened the doors so fast that I fumbled my keys in the process. I didn’t even bother taking the bags into the kitchen. I just dropped them by the front door. Once I got into my house, I immediately walked into the hallway, making my way to the end of the hall which is where my mom’s room is located.
So I got to my mom’s room and I ask her what was wrong. She pauses for a second before saying anything, and then she just tells me that my grandpa had passed away. I just stood there in her room motionless, staring at her with a blank stare. I was in shock; I didn’t feel as though I were breathing. I finally was able to ask her which grandpa it was, because that was the first thought that popped into my mind. She replied that it was my grandpa on my dad’s side. I didn’t know what to say, what to believe. So many thoughts were running through my mind. I had so many questions, yet so many of them unanswered.
I walked to my room, so quiet and in disbelief. I close my door behind me and I don’t even make sure that I make it to the bed. I immediately sit down on my floor for approximately 10 minutes not thinking about anything at all. My mind was blank all throughout that time. I sat there not knowing what to do. He was gone and there was nothing I could do. All of a sudden, I began to cry. I found myself crying continuously, and I didn’t like to cry, so I just forced myself to stop. I didn’t want to think about it because I knew if I continued to think about it, I would cry some more. I then turned on the T.V. to get my mind off of the situation because I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I felt kind of bad when I didn’t cry because it made me feel like I didn’t care or anything.
A couple of days later, we went to the service and then the funeral after. While I was at the service, I began crying again, so I tried stopping but this time, I couldn’t. I saw him lying there, so still. I couldn’t handle it. I walked outside to get some air. Seeing all of the flowers and how beautiful the sky looked. I thought to myself, “How could it be so beautiful and easy out here, while it’s so sad and bad in there.” The hardest part wasn’t until later at the funeral when they lowered his coffin down into the ground. I felt like just shouting out “No!” so that they would stop from lowering him down, but I knew that it needed to be done. He was going to a better place and I knew that I had to let him go.
After the funeral, we headed on over to my aunt’s house to have the reception. I was hungry but I just couldn’t eat. All I could think about was my grandpa, there in the cold ground all alone. It just broke my heart knowing that he’s by himself.
The whole situation taught me a very important lesson though. I learned that life is too short for small, useless drama. Anything can happen, and we shouldn’t take anything for granted, the whole situation with my grandpa for example. If I would’ve known that what happened was going to happen, then I would have taken the time we spent together much more seriously and I would have appreciated it that much more. We take everything for granted. We think that everything we have will always be there, and that we have all of the time in the world, but that’s not how life works. We have to make the best of the time that we have here on this earth because we can be gone the next day. I now realize that everything that I once thought to be a big deal doesn’t look so big anymore.

10 comments:

  1. It is very difficult if you lost your relatives, especially closed. Life is the theatre, and the people are actors in it, and you can’t do anything…I like your essay; I can fill your emotions.

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  2. i lost my grandpa as well so i know where you are coming from. good essay very well written

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  3. I know what you mean. I lost my grandma too, and the first thing on my mind was "Why didnt i take more time to talk to her?" But i guess it's best that we learn from this and take nothing else for granted.

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  4. It really hurts to loose someone, so i agree that we shouldn't take our life for granted.

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  5. I remember the day my mom told me my grandma had passed it was one of the hardest days ever.

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  6. wow...im sorry to hear that. but very good essay.you gave great detail and hooked me in throughout the whole time i was reading it.

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  7. I like your essay. Wanting to spend time with a family member and finding out they are gone hurts deeply. Enjoy your life and spend it with your loved ones as much as possible.

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  8. Amen, life is too short for drama, but yet I still find myself in it. I wish i was more relaxed like you. :) Great essay though, and I am sorry for your loss. If it makes you feel any better i really did'nt grow up with any of my grandparents!

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  9. I lost my grandfather a little over a year ago, and hius death had the biggest impact on my life.I can definately relate to what you have gone through. I'm glad we both made it. :)

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